Raising Boys What I've Learnt So Far

I don't tend to talk about my kids much, well at least not online in life try and stop me. My blog has always been an outlet for a little break, but at the same time I do have kids and they impact my life in ways I never imagined. My boys are seven and five now, and it's incredible how quickly they have grown and how much they have changed. Saying that some things have stayed the same, and I know all too quickly that with each year they become more independent and it breaks my heart a little. 

Try telling my boy that only girl like pink, and be faced with having a 2 hour talk about unicorny and why she's the bestest. 

When I first found out I was pregnant I was shitting myself, not literally (but that can happen during labour by the way, I know fun times right) but the thought of being totally responsible for a life is a tad overwhelming. At the same time I was so grateful, and excited by the idea of helping shape a life. EVERYONE, and I mean everyone told me I was having a girl. Swinging crystals over my bump, telling me the way my bump sat. I honestly didn't care, a healthy baby was always my concern. Not going to lie, when I fall pregnant again having a girl would have been lovely. I can still recall looking at the scan and thinking 'shit I'm completely outnumbered'. Than this got pushed aside by the panic of will I love this baby just as much as my first. Which seems laughable now, as I love my kids the same they are both awesome and so different from each other. 

I'm not sure what I was excepting, maybe for them to come out with a hammer in one hand and a tank in the other. Certain people made me feel that because I was having a boy, everything would be different had they been girls. Which is absolute crap, raising a boy is really NO different than raising a girl. The lies people tell, only boys pee on seats, only boys pick their noses. Having friends who have girls, it turns out they can be just as disgusting except you usually have to pretend you didn't witness it. Only GIRLS like pink, and like their nails painted. Only BOYS like dinosaurs and getting muddy. Rubbish like this really grates me so much. My boys are so completely different from one another, but both are sensitive. All kids are, some just hide it better than others. Hearing this crap must really get to them, feeling like their not normal if they don't fit in with what's laid out for them. My youngest loves to have his nails painted, because he wants to do what I do I have never said lets do this but I'm certainly not going to tell him no. It is literally just a bit of paint, honestly get over it. My eldest is more rough and tumble, but when he thinks no one is looking is so caring for his little brother. I think it's so important to raise boys and girls the same. Children are individuals and basing their likes, wants and needs off their gender annoys the hell out of me not to mention sets them up for insecure later in life. 


Don't even get me started on crying. 

A man escaped 'death by snack packed rucksack' around his head, when he said to my eldest in a loud voice " that boys don't cry" as his ice cream laid melting on the floor. I won't share my foul mouthed response to shaming a toddler for a normal reaction, needless to say the man exited the park with his dog and as I said sorry to the other mum there with her child. She responded with " Don't worry, there's always one know it park wanker". To which I almost cried, as it had already been a nightmare day filled with potty training and sometimes it's great to know that another mum isn't judging you because she's going through it too. As we went back to the van for ice cream round two, seeing his little face light up again was magic. Cuddles were no longer needed, and all was well in his world again. If my boys cry I support them, if it's more of a whinge to get their own way I let them get on as I would if they were girls. It's normal to cry, it's natural to cry. Not gonna lie when the phrase " I want something" is said I want to cry and cry and cry. I mean what does that even mean! Like a tattoo, a packet of crisps, a piece of my sanity. 

I don't think it's a boy thing, but a kid thing that even with all the toys, crafting kits, trips to the park and reading they will always need to involve you. I love spending time with them don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's nice not to hear the sound of my own voice saying classics like - Hold my hand I won't say it again x 4. Don't pick that up it's dirty. Wash your hands. Do you need a wee? Don't do that. Not in the house. It's 7.30am of course you can't have sweeties! Look in your drawers. Why didn't you have a wee? Well no-one should be hitting. Tidy up all these toys or I'm binning the lot. Why are there crumbles in my bed! 

Trying to watch a film, in my own living room is an event in it's self if it's not a family film. Trying to make sure that even the pause scene, isn't going to give them nightmares is a skill fit for my C.V - I like horror films, they like getting out of bed for no reason. I swear I have a glue gun and a onesie that has your name on it kid. 

In the end I've learnt to encourage my children in what they love, and that we won't always agree on certain things but you don't love each other any less. That some days there will be pee on the seat. That every time you have a bath except a little tap on the bathroom door because someone needs a poo. That while my eldest boy says 'girls are rubbish', he should really have remembered to remove a note from his pocket saying he loved a certain girl. Bitterly giving up a pink unicorn your other half won you, for your youngest because unicorns are the bestest and seeing him smile is priceless. That if there are no wipes around, your leg will do. That some days you will question everything and feel like thee worst parent in the world,  then  you get a grip make a tea and found a drawing of you with a cape. Raising a kid is thee most draining but exciting experience. It's defiantly not for everyone. But if raising boys has taught me anything, it's that children are snotty balls of magic. It's so short before they are out in the world without you. I hope that they grow into good people, and I hope they are happy in life all I can do is guide my boys too that.