It's easy every now and again to give in, give into things you don't want to do or things you don't agree with. Maybe it's because of who your giving in for, a friend who's always there, a boss that always asked you too stay late or in my case a very clever five year old my son Corben now in league with his brother Logan aged three. I wish I was part of the 'super mothers' mum's sometimes, but I'm not because I'm no good at faking that I have it all together.
The thing is that in truth I do draw the line, but just not for things that others would and that's the point. We all have different lines and boundaries, it's easy to say to someone 'that's not on' but if you don't have a problem than why make it an issue- Unless you are being physical or mental abused or doing that to someone else that's never okay and you should seek advice but that's a whole other post. I think you know what you wouldn't take, and it's fine for people to suggest what you shouldn't, but it's your choice. Your choice to stand up and say 'no actual that's not okay', in the past I have let people cross the line and I wish I could send this back in time to tell myself to tell them 'I don't think so'. Than Corben blurted out the other day 'errrr I don't think so' in my voice, when he took my phone without asking me first. I was already to gave the 'right if you don't give that back your ban from bla bla bla' but than before I even had time to say anything.
A photo I took after the boys told me ' Mummy blog our outfits'
He run over with the phone and said 'sorry mummy, here you go' handed me it with a huge grin, and I thought hey who needs to have a time machine to draw my line. He was making a joke of me when I do put my foot down, and it made me think sometimes I'm so quick to judge him and his brother. That maybe in my head I'm chilled out ( a bit of a push over), but in reality I can put my foot down too fast. Maybe sometimes when they do things I except them to be doing, I should give them more praise. They actual do a lot for each other, and don't push me too often. I hope that as they grow up, that they will always try even if they fail rather than feeling they have to ask others straight away for a favour. Logan is getting more like his brother now, his really cheeky and the other day lobbed a car that by accident hit me in the head (fun times) when I said no to another biscuit. But after seeing he hurt me, gave me a massive cuddle and said ' I'm really sorry mummy' without being asked and kissed my head. They are only human, and I guess it can be hard sometimes to follow all these rules.
You will sometimes be pushed into the 'do me a favour' zone, which is just how life works but also you will be the person asking too! Life is about give and take, its keeping the balance without people taking advantage of your good nature and not taking people who help you for granted. Sometimes what you may assume is a favour is actual just being there, for a friend or going that extra mile for a boss who actual does value you and your work.
It's sometimes hard to see who you step over the line with, so step back and respect their boundaries too. With my phone in my hand I knew that I don't always give in, even if I did give him a hug and than let him watch his favourite You Tuber for a while *cough *cough. In the case of my boys, I'll be firm when I need to but I'm not going to create a massive drama out of simply mistakes. They are just kids after all, I'm a grown up and still get things wrong. I hope that they can look back on the times were I do have to be strict, and see that it's because I love them and what them to grow up into people who care and respect others. Also I'm learning to say sorry to them, when I point my finger which as a parent can be really hard. I think it's seeing the whole picture and putting yourself in the other persons shoes. It makes you have a fair perspective, and means you will give in for the right reasons and also recognise when it's not about giving in and just enjoying life and helping others enjoy it too.
Do you feel you give in to easily or do you feel your always saying no? As always I would love to hear your side.