The Reality Of Motherhood

I think if you had told be in my early twenties, that by thirty-one I would have not one but two kids I would have rolled on the floor laughing. It's not that I never wanted kids, it's just that when I think of what a mother is to a child, I would always think of other women. I'm still heart broke for women in my life, who sadly can't be mum's. Who would be the best mum's in the world! So when my boys drive me to insanity by wrecking the house, screaming their heads off and just not giving me a minute to even think. I remind myself that I'm lucky. 

Me & my mum when I was around one, my mum would have been about twenty eight. 

I actual still have the red jumper she's wearing as it was knitted by my grandmother 

(who was like a second mum to me, who we both miss dearly). 

I'm lucky to have days were I'm pulling my hair out, because with those days comes cuddles and drawing and words. Words like 'thank you mummy', without having to nag for your child to say it can make your year. Being a mum is hard, but it's also not to be taken for granted. People just assume everyone can have kids, people also assume that everyone wants them. If you don't then great, we have to move away from this old fashioned view that everyone must have them. It's complete rubbish, it's up to the individual. I hate the thought of a child being unloved because they were never wanted, well cared for yes, but children feel things every child should feel complete love. They will grow up feeling that they were a mistake, and why put yourself and a child in that position to make others happy. But I guess it's complex and you can't predict how you will feel, this is why it's so important to talk to someone if you do have depression and feel like a rubbish mum. Your not alone, and even the most together mum's sometimes wants to just go cry in a room on her own.

The word mum is so much more, sometimes it's a little scary as your child sees you as everything. For some their mum's are not here anymore, or maybe were never there. To me your mother is the person who raised you, fed you, clothed you told you a bedtime story and protected you. For some it's a male figure, a lot of dads have had to play the mother role and that can't be easy. We all assume to much. My mum to me is my mother and my father, I have a dad were friends but he didn't raise me. Lucky for my boys, they have both. I think there's a heap of pressure to be the super mum, you should be baking, making and taking your kid to everything and enriching their lives. In reality your lucky if you get to use the toilet by yourself, as for baking and being the perfect homemaker err ...does buying cakes from somewhere count.


So I've written this post mainly to thank my mum, it's her birthday today. She's my everything, she has shaped me as a person, and has always supported me. She never judges me, and has helped me understand want a real mum is. It's not someone with perfect hair and a pearly smile, who bakes cookies and is always nice to everyone and never gets anything wrong. She speaks up when she doesn't agree, and is strong without even knowing it. She would trade everything she had, for time with you. It's a mum who wiped your cut knee, even if she told you not to climb the tree. Mopped up vomit when you were ill, because you will always be her baby. Gave you the best she could, and would go without so you never had too. Cuddled you when others let you down, and loves you for you. Happy Birthday mum your my hero xx