Do you ever give up on your dreams? This is a question I ask myself every day, it's odd that at 12 years old I had my whole life worked out. I'd either go study outside of London, and I'd go on to get married, work for a magazine and be an interior designer. I'd live in a big house and have a dog, than later in life maybe I would have kids. So how did that dream work out for you Laura, I hear you sigh. Life happened and not just that I realised that with dreams, comes decisions. Lot's of decisions.
Growing up you realise that actually if you work hard and your not a back stabbing climber, it doesn't always pay off. That there's no such thing as the one, you can rescue yourself and that it's actual a great feeling to be independent. That to have the things you want in life you have to give up your time with family and friends, and put it into making money for everything. On the other hand if I silence my bitter self, that actual the life I have now is better than my dreams. I never gave up on them, they just became more real rather than some picture perfect fantasy.
I met Barry, who I've been with for 10 years. We fight over rubbish, like to cook each other pancakes. He moans when I drag him shopping, but he will always say how pretty I look. So why aren't we married? .....Because were not, we love each other, we have two cheeky little boys. Marriage is beautiful but it's not for us. We don't live in the dream house, we have a roof over our heads and that's enough for now. Of course it would be great to have a plush pad. When I gave the homeless man by my local supermarket some change from my pocket, I'm grateful for my messy hub of a home. The dream job ....I'm a full time mum, and for a career girl this was a shock to my system.
To be honest I never believed in myself before having the boys, I think the career I wanted was a dream. I never pushed myself to just go for things, I was always sacred I would fail. Than some how now it doesn't matter, now before you snap 'but it's not real journalism' I want to say 'I DON'T CARE'. My blog is like my own personal magazine, I can fill it with what I like, you can create your own inspirations with your blog. In no way am I saying that I have it right, or that I'm a power blogger .......Nope what I wanted to share, what I wanted to write today was this. You don't need dreams, you don't need approval about what your life choices are.
Things happen in life, sometimes awful life changing things. I hope they don't happen to you, I hope that you are one of those lucky people who breezes through life - I'll swallow the bitter pill I promise. You need drive and self belief, you need to know that you don't have to sell out others, if you need to do that for a lifestyle than is it really worth it. I would rather know that my achievements are off my own back, that every 'well done and thank you' were earned from me only. I don't know about you, I still have dreams, but I'd rather focus on what I'm doing rather than what I'm not. If your not happy, than know that your just in a bad place and that at some point you will find the door to come out on the other side. Maybe you don't see it, but others may envy you maybe your living a dream that they have had all their lives. I think it's great to dream, but don't take the wonderful things in your reality for granted.