Gone, But Never Forgotten

I don't know what to write, or even if I should be writing this. I feel like writing about anything else would just feel fake. Yesterday Barry's dad passed away, he had been battling cancer for over three years. Tony was a fantastic dad and such a loving granddad, and he had such a great sense of humour. I remember when I first met him and Barry's mum Shirley (if we were married I couldn't wish for a better mother in law) ten years ago, they welcomed me in like they had always know me this strange goth girl. Most would have judge me, and they never did.

Barry pay fighting with his dad

I even spent Christmas with them because my family were going away and they invited me there. We had only been dating a few months so it was a bit crazy really looking back, and it was and will always be one of the  best times of my life. Growing up an only child, it was great to be surrounded by Barry's brothers and sister and their kids. As my nan had passed away that year, so it was going to be hard to have Christmas without her. They made it enjoyable again, and I loved how Barry's mum and dad joked with each other they were best friends and partners.

Tony has five children, who I know like their mum will miss him with every fibre of their being he was always there for all of them. He has ten grandchildren, and I'm so glad they all knew him and had him in their lives playing in the garden. Even when the cancer had taken hold, Tony would sit with the kids and play games with them on the iPad. He never moaned, he never complained about what he was happening. He faced it head on. I hope Corben will remember his times with him, sadly Logan is too little. Of course we will tell them everything about him and show them photos/videos of him, so they can see how much they meant to him. 

I want them to learn from who he was, to be a good partner and father. To work hard and get on with things, to joke and make the most of life. I want to thank Tony, everyday I'm with a man he raised and influenced. Barry is such a great dad, his loyal and very caring his mum and dad raised him to be a gentleman. Yeah okay Barry is outspoken and wears a Tool t-shirt rather than a bow tie but his honest just like his dad was. Now I just need to be there for Barry, losing a parent is beyond hard and Tony was so young. It's a void that can't be filled, you never get over that you just have to keep breathing and enjoy the good you still have.

I explained to Corben very openly about his granddad passing away, and although he can't understand fully it's important he knows. He said ' Does this mean Granddad is asleep forever' when I replied yes he said 'No mummy his just upstairs playing ipad' who knew that this came from a three year old. I hope that's how they can think of him, being with others we have lose playing games and being happy.

Anyway I'm waffling, I guess this is my way of facing it.