It's Okay To Be Weird Or Not

Growing up I always knew I had a different idea of what I considered beautiful, while girls around me wore the latest threads from Morgan, Topshop and (insert another trendy 90s brand). I customised hand me downs, wore flares and dreamed of owning David Bowies ziggy star dusts wardrobe. I wanted to be a mix of Spices girls, meets Shirley Manson. I did like popular things but wanted them to be more outrageous almost cartoon like. Girls I knew, wanted to be Barbie and look like Pamela Anderson they looked to Kate Moss and All Saints for style. While I dyed my hair red to look like Shirley Manson, and copied Bjorks hair styles from ripped out pages of Top Of The Pops magazine. It was pretty clear I was going to fit in.

Jeans I painted because I'm bored of what 'grown up' jeans should be.

I never wanted to look like Barbie in regards her body, hair or face I wanted her tacky plastic, rainbow outfits and her shoe collection. As I got into music more and more, because I could not afford even high street fashion I became a Goth. It was amazing, all black, reds and purple and I would pick up thing from charity shops and take inspiration from album artwork on my tape collection. I felt like I was burying the old me who had been bullied for trying to fit in and becoming a person who no longer cared what these people thought of me. Once that happen, it opened pandoras box and I moved on to skater, which somehow became hippy than grunge, back to hippy, into rocker and well I forget I wanted to transform and really explore different styles.  

As I got older and could fund my own wardrobe, I was drunk on choice. When I get depressed I find I dress the way I think people want me too, I guess you would say average. It's like I'm trying to blend in, it may sound odd but it feels so alien. I'm at peace with who I am, people can laugh at my outfits or suggest I tone it down that's fine. I've found the older I get the less I care about pleasing others or trying to fit into even a subculture group. I don't have to dress a certain way to have friends or achieve what I want, I've found since I've started embracing my weird side my life over all feels better. If I can't find clothing I like than I make it, or find cool brands that go against the norm. I think it's made me a more creative person, and that's always a positive. 

Sadly it doesn't just stop at fashion, I think there is an awful amount of pressure on people in especially in their twenties to have a certain lifestyle. Be it living it up and partying, traveling while having the perfect relationship and friends that also fit this mould. I'm pass this thankfully, and just think why does it matter, if someones happy to stay in what's the problem if someone wants to go out clubbing great. I'm pass wanting to party all the time if I'm honest, I'd much prefer to watch a back to back boxset and play Clash of clans with a cup of tea and a non trendy mini roll (sorry Macroons your pretty but not that tasty). 

At thirty two I probably should 'dress my age', but I'm not going to. I've always been labeled weird, and it use to really hurt me I was always made to feel like an outsider. Time has shown me that it can only hurt me if I let it, if you can embrace your differences and understand that it's your perspective of self that really counts those labels fall by the way side. If your the type of person that has to label everyone, and only see the negative than maybe reflect on how happy you really are with your life. Because if I see a girl wearing a crop top with a bit of belly, or a guy wearing nail polish and a tank top. I'm not going to tell them how to live their lives I'm going to mentally high five them for not giving a monkeys for anyones approval. So be weird, be bright, be fun, be minimal, be fat, be skinny, be in a relationship or single,  be tanned, be pale, be sassy or classic be whoever you want and don't let anyone put you down for being the real deal. Stay true to yourself and stay strong because it's okay to be weird or not ....