Your plate is stacked to the brim, and no I'm not talking about a plate you put food on here. I mean your plate of life (cringe and cheese I know), your already juggling enough for one person so why have you just agreed to working over time, go on a night out with friends, or repaint half your house on your day off. It seems that if we're not doing something productive, and no updating your Instagram doesn't count. Than it's a waste of our time. So where did this time measurement come from, and why do we feel we're letting ourselves and others down by not multitasking our lives to the extreme. As someone who is very open about my on/off depression. I can honestly say I know both sides to making the most of life, and than being so mentally drained I can't even face getting dressed. I think it's important to talk about it, as it's not something anyone should full ashamed of. You don't have to shout it to the world, but it's important that you have someone you can be honest with.
So what do you do, push yourself harder usually. But is it healthy, no. Does anyone actual say to you " well done on being so productive " of course not. I'm not against pushing for more and trying to achieve all that you can there's no shame in that either but everyone has limits. Let's face it we would love to be that person who gets eight hours sleep, up first thing, happy in work, than gym, drinks with friends, arts and crafts, seen every exhibition, read every new book out, seen every latest film, perfect hair, nails and teeth, flawless wardrobe and flawless style.... but who is this person. What are they doing so differently from us that they can achieve everything so perfectly. To be honest it's fantasy, no one can be perfect shocker I know. We can just show one side of our life, and keep all the stress to ourselves be it saying that 'everything is so great' or posting photos of the good bits on social media sites. In order to do it all and take on more you have to put other things aside, it's just a fact there are only so many hours in a day. If you are happy that's great, shout it to the world and be proud. But if your not than it's okay to admit it, and not feel you have to be twice as upbeat.
So how do you find the balance. You need to look at what actual matters in YOUR life, there's no shame in wanting more, wanting to work hard and aiming higher but if it's going to damage your mental or psychical health is it worth it. Some people won't understand you, these people are not worth your time, or energy anyway. Balancing everything takes time, you have to be realistic and not let dreams take over too much. Don't give up either, life is too short not to try and make the most.
Don't let the guilt, of not being on form all the time ruin every day. Depression is a beast, some days you can fight it back and other times it pins you down. I don't pretend my beast is not there anymore, being open about it has let me put the beast on a collar I have taken back control. You can do as much or as little as you want, give yourself a break and don't be guilted my others. We all have different plates, some have cracks, are stacked too low or too high. Maybe we should work on the one we have, before piling on more or letting others pile on more.
Do you ever feel pressure to do more with your life? Where does your pressure come from? Have you got any advice for others on how you deal with yours. Or do you feel pressure keeps you on your toes? I would love to hear your side.
So how do you find the balance. You need to look at what actual matters in YOUR life, there's no shame in wanting more, wanting to work hard and aiming higher but if it's going to damage your mental or psychical health is it worth it. Some people won't understand you, these people are not worth your time, or energy anyway. Balancing everything takes time, you have to be realistic and not let dreams take over too much. Don't give up either, life is too short not to try and make the most.
Don't let the guilt, of not being on form all the time ruin every day. Depression is a beast, some days you can fight it back and other times it pins you down. I don't pretend my beast is not there anymore, being open about it has let me put the beast on a collar I have taken back control. You can do as much or as little as you want, give yourself a break and don't be guilted my others. We all have different plates, some have cracks, are stacked too low or too high. Maybe we should work on the one we have, before piling on more or letting others pile on more.
Do you ever feel pressure to do more with your life? Where does your pressure come from? Have you got any advice for others on how you deal with yours. Or do you feel pressure keeps you on your toes? I would love to hear your side.
I absolutely feel the pressure you talk about here. I never feel as though I have enough time for everything and yet I feel guilty if I spend time doing something I enjoy, or heaven forbid, relaxing, as I feel that's time I've wasted which could have been spent being more productive. Argh.
ReplyDeleteOh Law, I love reading these sorts of posts from you. LOVED this one particularly. I often feel pressured to be doing something all the time, and in all fairness, I do do a lot all the time. But when I want to just relax, be on my own and go on my own time, others get a bit funny about not making the effort. Sometimes you just need to counteract the everyday pressure by working on ourselves, however we like to. I can easily do a week or two without speaking to anyone, I just prefer recharging my energy by not doing much, which is much more realistic than forcing myself to feel leisurely surrounded by lots of people in a loud place.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and I totally agree with it.
ReplyDeleteFunnily enough I went to Newark last night to see Ruby Wax's show 'Sane New World'. She mentioned that we can be our own worst enemies and it's true, we just put too much pressure and expectations on ourselves.
Then there's stupid memes like that one that was going around saying 'You have as many hours in the day as Beyonce'. that pissed me off to no end. What is it? Not only we have all the body shaming going around but now we also have to put up with productivity shaming? sheesh. Sometimes it makes me want to quit all this Social Media and blogging business altogether... for my sanity's sake.
End of rant :)
I wish I could say no to people, it is one of the main things that I am working on but is definitely easier said than done! I know things have been a bit manic for you recently but if there is anything I can do to help then let me know!
ReplyDeleteMaria xxx