Go Compare: How To Stay Positive In The Blog World

No I'm not trying to sell you insurance, just trying to reassure you that everyone is doing it 'What are you on about Law?' ....Comparing, yep as great as social media is it also has a dark side. Let me explain, it starts off with you checking your favourite blogs, there they are stylish and successful, going to all the events and having this dreamy life. There's you stuck in, your place is a tip, oh wait that's if your even lucky enough to have your own place. Eating last nights take out, as you brush the mess otherwise know as your hair, to go to a crap job you hate that barely affords you a bag from Topshop let alone Prada! It's not that you are bitter, your happy that this person is doing well. You love seeing were they holiday, and checking out their latest instagram photos of collections they have seen, places they have eaten at. You even follow them on twitter and chat, but the more you see all these peoples 'perfect' lives the more yours seems dull and worthless and yourself esteem drops.

You will never have the money to buy those shoes, your house will never look like that, than you go to blog after blog and suddenly feel you don't belong. Your not pretty enough, thin enough, rich enough, you don't travel or have the perfect partner. Suddenly you are picking at every detail, you can't seem to make it through a post without digging at yourself that you should be more like that! It starts off with little things  'My photos will never be that good, and if they were I don't have pretty clothing so whats the point', these people suddenly feel above you. Your not your happy self, you feel down but don't want to say anything in case someone laughs 'your upset over what others have'. Yes it may sound silly but its not, constant comparison can lend to depression which is very real and can destroy your once perfectly normal life.

(My cookie monster PJ's I often blog in at night)

Before the Internet and mobile devices, women picked up magazines and dreamt about the famous life flicking through and feeling crap that their 'Rachel' cut didn't look as great as Jennifer Anistons (oh the 90's). Now everyone from your 12 year old cousin to your gran has Internet access, it's just life in the 00's. So of course blogging took off, and gave everyone a voice and a chance to showcase what they had to say, wear, own and it's no different. Now we log into different sites and have all this access in a click of a button, and with it the 'compare' factor has upped and is fiercer than ever.

It's so easy to go from feeling great, to feeling rubbish it maybe something simple as you buy an item of clothing to blog about (just an example), than see that another blogger has worn it and looks like they could be on the cover of Vogue. So what now, you splashed out on something you can't really afford and now feel you can't wear. ' People will say I'm copying, or I'm fat and ugly. What's the point no one cares'. It's suddenly not just about blogging, it's about you and your worth, how did you end up here feeling depressed and useless. 

• The truth is the camera can lie, because it can't show you everything, you don't see how long it took that person (maybe) to set up that shoot. That their photo maybe is  photoshopped to death, don't assume that anyone has skin that is pore free and perfect.

• Some people may loan designers items or be in mass debt to afford them, some have worked damn hard for what they have, and some are just given it. You don't know and it shouldn't matter, if you really love something why not get creative and try a little D.I.Y. It will focus your attention on something, leaving you less time to worry that you have not got  the latest  'must haves'. It's fun, plus you can share your work with your readers. 

• If you are having a rubbish day body wise, than avoid sites were you are given points/hypes on outfits. It's only going to upset you and you have to realise that we all have different body shapes, and style is not measured by your size, skin etc...

• Get inspired, rather than getting down about what others are blogging about, refocus your energy into your blog. So what if you don't have the best camera, play around with what you have take photos in a different way. Plus photos are not everything on a blog, you can make a great post with your writing too.

• Take a note book and fill it with post ideas, things that make you happy, a favourite recipe, a collection you have (example rings, postcards). Keep it handy, as if you have an idea you can write it down quick.  

• It's your blog! So blog about what you want, if you don't feel confident about your style, than why not blog about something else. There are blogs for travel, food, beauty, kids, cars, computers ...the list goes on so don't feel you have to blog about things because others are.

•  Every time you compare yourself no matter who too and what it's about, name 3 things you have going for you. It can be anything from you have great teeth, to you have a lovely new bag to use. It will refocus you onto positive energy and thoughts, about you.

•  If you are depressed than talk about it, with a friend or family. Depression is complex and not so easy to snap out of, talking about it is the first step and you shouldn't feel ashamed. Depression is common and who knows maybe that person you always compare yourself to, is as well. 

• I was happy that Frankie from the Saturdays spoke out about her depression, just because you have things doesn't mean you don't question your worth. Things can seem 'perfect' from the outside, but if you don't know than don't compare. I always think it's like choosing what to wear in the dark, you can make out whats what, but you don't know how it will look until you turn on the light (it's not always pretty). You can't know how someones really feeling from say a tweet or an outfit post (just examples), so why are you comparing.

There are helplines. if you feel you are unable to talk with someone you know about your depression. MIND is a website that gives a heap of information with numbers. Sorry this post is long, but if this helps any of you feel better and stop you from dragging yourself down than I'm not sorry. I'm proud to say my mother who is bipolar and the queen of comparison, has made a rule that every time she does it (compare herself, which is anything to 159 times a day, nope I'm not joking) she has to name three things that she has going for her. Since we started the rule, she hardly every does it now (I think it's so she doesn't have to come up with 3 things). 

Anyway let me know what you think, do you compare yourself? Are you more likely to compare yourself to people you know, magazines, celebs, or people in the social media world? I would love to know.